Leadership Network member's language journey a family affair

Dionte: "I held this thing that I was Māori Samoan, but without my language I just felt so disconnected and so fake."

It’s how Dionte is making sure her daughter grows up fluent not just in words, but in the cultures she has ancestral links to.

"The goal was, when our daughter was born, I wanted to make sure she could speak the reo of every part that she whakapapa-ed back to,” Dionte says.

Born and raised in Wellington, Dionte grew up participating in kapa haka and Polyfest.

Despite being immersed in these cultural events and surrounded by peers fortunate to speak their languages fluently, Dionte says she felt acutely aware of the linguistic gaps in her own household.

Her Pasifika mother didn’t speak Samoan, and her Māori father had lost his use of te reo Māori.

“I held this thing that I was Māori Samoan, but without my language I just felt so disconnected and so fake,” she says. “I never wanted my daughter to experience it.”

Today, the family sets one target language for the week - Māori and Samoan reflect Dionte’s roots; Korean, her husband’s - and the general rule is that only that language is spoken during that week.

The approach wasn’t random. With advice from a child psychologist, Dionte developed the week-by-week rotation.

Dionte Kang with her mother, father and daughter

Four years in, it’s working: her daughter can converse across all three languages, plus English.

The family immerses themselves by reading books and watching television and movies in the chosen language, and they also seek out community groups or environments where that language is spoken.

The process hasn’t been without its moments of chaos.

In the early years, the household adhered to a “no English” rule, even though the parents themselves were still mastering vocabulary in some languages.

Conversations often blended words from three languages, creating a kind of linguistic patchwork.

Her husband would start in Korean, Dionte would respond partly in te reo, then switch to Samoan when she ran out of words, while their daughter would chime in with whichever language she could remember.

“But we found, in that confusion, we developed - in the same way kids have been developing language throughout history,” Dionte says. “A lot of the time, you just have to babble, and so that’s what we did.”

As her daughter’s language skills have become more sophisticated, Dionte says she has found herself learning alongside.

Now, with the preschooler approaching her primary school years and progressing from speaking to reading and writing, Dionte is looking at how their system could evolve.

Her goal is for the language “journey to continue” - and not stop at five, which she says can be “such a common thing” when a young person heads to an English-language school for most of the day.

Dionte with her daughter in Samoa

She is weighing up moving from a weekly to a month-by-month rotation, allowing for deeper focus on each language’s unique writing systems and grammar, in addition to vocabulary.

The language focus continues outside the home. Dionte leads Skillset Sport, a coaching program designed to connect communities across generations and cultures.

The programme currently delivers coaching in multiple languages, including Māori, Mandarin, Korean, Hindi, Tamil, Gujarti, Afrikaans, and Samoan.

It means everyone – parents, grandparents and children – can participate, learn new skills, and feel part of the community.

Families that might otherwise stay on the sidelines are now front and centre.

“Language is the gate we have to open for them to be involved,” Dionte says. “You can’t be involved in something you don’t understand, and language is one of the biggest barriers to understanding.”

Skillset Sports basketball sessions trains coaches in soft skills

While Skillset Sports runs its own basketball sessions, its model trains coaches in soft skills that are adaptable to all sports.

Dionte’s involvement with the Asia New Zealand Foundation Leadership Network further complements her work.

Inducted as a young leader this year, she says she values the opportunity to connect with inspiring, high-performing professionals.

“I want to be the dumbest person in the room,” she says, matter-of-factly.

The experience, she says, pushes her to keep learning and to contribute something distinctive - a perspective that blends sport, language and culture, shaped by the multilingual experiment she’s living with her daughter and husband at home.

The Asia New Zealand Foundation Leadership Network equips the next generation of Kiwi leaders to thrive in Asia. We provide members with the connections, knowledge and confidence to lead New Zealand’s future relationship with the region.