Leadership, it's not about being the Big Man


Being a leader is not about being the loudest or most confident person in the room but demands subtler qualities that bring out the best in other people, writes Leadership Network member Amarind Eng. Amarind reflects on attending the Leadership Network’s Rethinking Leadership Hui where he joined 10 other network members to delve deeper into their personal leadership journeys.
Board member and Leadership Network member Ziena Jalil (right) speaking with MP and former network member  Vanushi Walters

Board member and Leadership Network member Ziena Jalil (right) speaking with MP and former network member Vanushi Walters

“Leadership” conjures images of strongmen in history.  Being a good “leader” then summons words like “leading from the front” and “loud”.  But, is this what leaders really are? 

The hui was facilitated by Dr Suze Wilson, a woman who is inspirational in her own right, drawing on her research of power, identity, gender, ethics, discourse and contextual crises analysis to draw out the core elements of leadership.

We heard from inspirational speakers including MP Vanushi Walters who set the tone of the weekend, advising us to go where our minds are curious and hearts are passionate. We were curious. Our hearts were passionate.

The 11 of us came from wildly different leadership journeys.  However, while we came from legal, policy, medical, educational and engineering backgrounds, we all shared one thing in common: a hunger to hone our leadership to be impactful, effective and sustainable in our communities.

 What were some of the lessons we gained over the weekend?

I can not do justice to the many insights we gained, but I can highlight three.  

 Lesson 1: Leadership can be lonely, but that does not mean we are alone.  The 11 of us demonstrated exactly that.  Over the weekend, we all came with difficult challenges, which seemed insurmountable.  Yet, the beauty of this hui was our ability to draw on 11 pools of knowledge – 11 communities – to discuss impactful solutions, which left us feeling supported, energised and ready to confront what was weighing us down.  So, lesson one: use support networks, lean on each other. 

 Lesson 2: Make haste, slowly.  Dr Wilson challenged us to reflect: “are we acting in auto-pilot mode?”  Leaders often carry the burden of delivering the next steps required to achieve a goal.  Yet we often do not pause to reflect on our own identities, values and vision that sustain our work.  So, lesson two: build your foundations, explore the “why” you act to give you strength when you face challenges and disheartening defeats (which inevitably occur).  

 Lesson 3: Leadership and its qualities do not come from formal authority. Leadership does not demand being loud and proud or leading from the front. Leadership is empowering not overpowering, bringing communities of people together to achieve something that would otherwise not occur.  As we discussed, our parents are often our first leaders, people who inspire us to be better, to have difficult conversations, but also to celebrate our successes and strengths.  While being a leader is not ‘parenting’, being able to reflect on our role models from childhood to professional life, means gaining and retaining ‘gems’ from everyone who inspires us to be better people.  So, lesson three: look up, look around, and be humble to learn from everyone. 

The weekend has inspired me to be bold in my own leadership journey in a legal space. In discussing the issues I face with the group, I came away hearing similar struggles, potential strategies and the inspiration we take from our communities.  This “back to basics” approach bolstered my ‘why’ and refreshed my heart as I continue to tackle cutting edge legal issues in making the law a more culturally competent space.

But, more broadly, as the world jumps from challenge to challenge, we must acknowledge that simplistic solutions will not solve problems that are multifaceted and intersectional.  As leaders, what is one day a strength can become a liability if we lose connection with the “why” of our work. 

So, while there are difficult issues, our communities also have the solutions. Therefore, leadership really means bringing out the best in your team to ensure you balance “grandiose aspirations” and “achievable realities”.